Mike H - Cell Phone Yammerers

Hey! Why does Mike H get his name in the subject line? Oh, maybe because he made a request. Check out my request post and post a comment with what you want me to blog about (on any post really, I'll see it) and this could be you! You don't have to put your name, but if you do, I'll put it in the subject. Cool, right?

Anyway, I have plenty to say about people who yammer on their cell phones at crazy levels. Let me start though, by saying that I am anti-ringtone. My phone is almost always on vibrate because I can feel it when it rings, and if I can't, then I probably can't answer it. I don't like hearing people's ringtones. . .if it's in the other room, you'll hear it if it's on a table and vibrating. I also can't stand when people leave their ringers on at work. It's at most about 2 feet away from you. Just put it on vibrate. No need to bug the whole office with your weird factory-installed cell phone provider-branded tune.

Ok, back to the yammering. Mike lives in a big city, as do I, and it's inevitable that you'll get a loud cell phone user on your bus or train. They're talking all about some sexcapade or how they're SO pissed at so-and-so and HOW could she be so rude? I mean, what does she take me for? I don't have to put up with her shit, I mean I don't!

Everybody kinda looks at each other awkwardly trying not to laugh (it's even more fun if the convo is super personal and super loud). I actually had somebody on my bus tell her friend that she felt sorry for me because I was next to a girl who was talking about how her friend's fiancee died, but she needs to move on and not be such a bitch. Seriously.

I don't know if these people think they exist in the cone of silence and nobody can hear them, or if they don't realize how loud they're being, or if they simply don't care. In my head, I secretly want their boss or grandmother or someone to pop out from behind a newspaper and shock the hell out of these people.

It also sucks when you're walking on the sidewalk behind these people. It's as though their blood alcohol level shot through the roof, because they can no longer walk a straight line, and manage to block every possible way of passing them on the sidewalk. They also cut their walking pace in about half, and when you're contemplating tripping them, so you can step on their back to finally move past them, they end their call.

Finally, back to PT. Have you ever been on the bus next to someone who can't finish the bus ride sitting alone, quietly? I once sat next to a girl who made no less than 5 phone calls on the way home, so that she had someone to talk to. If only she knew I was there to listen. (awwwww. Not really though, that would have made me peel myself away from my iPod. As if!)

My badass side has this plan to call people out on their shit. I've narrowed it down to 3 options:

1) Start participating in these loud conversations:

Trixie: "OMG I was SO drunk! I don't even know where I woke up this morning!"
Me: "Totally. I'll bet it was super fun! whore."

2) Call my friend and start relaying all the details of their conversation as they happen
Trixie: "OMG. I was SO drunk! I don't even know where I woke up this morning!"
Me: "Mike, you won't believe this. The girl next to me doesn't know where she woke up this morning!"

3)Sit and stare at the offender as though you're listening intently to what they're saying. Super creepy like.

Instead I'll just complain about it passive-aggressively on here. Thanks for listening!


"I can't believe she would say that!"
"I know, what a bitch, right?"