Sunday, January 18, 2009

Jack - Unwritten Rules

This is the first of my requested blogs (don't worry Mike, yours is next). That said, there's still time to make requests! So read the one before this, post a request, then start reading.

Made your request? Awesome.

Ok, so I don't know what it is about my Sunday post-improv class trips to Whole Foods, but I'll be damned if it isn't "Carry-my-baby-0n-my-person-palooza." I would never do such a thing because:

1) I don't have a baby
2) I'm wayyy too klutzy.

My non-existent baby shouldn't suffer because I can't walk without tripping. Now, these women always seem to think that their needs are most important. I had one cut in and cut me off while reaching for peppers. Sorry, just because your baby is dangling off your tits, doesn't mean that you get to go first. Invest in a babysitter and let me shop in peace.

My other favorite thing is using the stroller as a mechanism to get through crowds. If you're using that thing like a cattle prod, then it's not my fault if I accidentally hit it. I'm sick of people thinking that just because they have a baby, that means that they automatically get to come first in everything. Until I have one. Then back the hell out of my way.

Also, while I'm ranting. I went to see Slumdog Millionaire this weekend. Jack had to pick up meds for his cat, so after some bad bus luck, we decided to cab it from the pharmacy to make it there on time. We get there, go to the next to last row and sit down. There's two seats between me and the people next to me, and a guy shows up by himself and sits in one of them. There's also a seat on the other side of Jack. So, previews go by (the new Star Trek movie looks awesome!), movie starts, and we're about 5-10 minutes in when these two a-holes show up. The woman asks if anybody is sitting next to me and we tell her no. Then, she asks if we could move down, so they can sit together. I just stare at her blankly because I can't believe how rude this request is. We oblige and then they continue to turn on their iPhone during the movie which shines in my face. They did catch one of my dirty looks, so that made me happy.

Anyway, it's one thing to ask people to move down before the movie, or even during the previews. But when you're late and there aren't any contiguous seats, your punishment is the front row. This is a well-known fact, and we've all fallen victim to it once or twice. I was mad that they were so rude, and I'm also made that I didn't answer "yes" to the is anyone sitting there question. Argh. Damn you honesty!!

Oh, and if you lied before and read this without posting a request, do it now. danke!

3 comments:

Nell said...

I could not agree more about your babies rant. My friend and I were at Ikea yesterday and kept getting stuck behind strollers. The worst is when you are at a street festival and the family has the stroller, the wagon, the dog - all while the other 1000 people are trying to hang out on the same narrow Chicago street. ugh.

Unknown said...

It sucks how we always come up with the perfect strategy at least 1 hour after the fact.

And it really sucks that the perfect strategy was as simple as saying "yes" when they asked if the seats were taken.

Lesson learned. :)

todayistheday said...

Dah! That's happened to me the past 3 or 4 movies that I've seen in New York. Someone always comes in and asks us to scoot down.

I'm with you guys. From now on I ain't moving. Civil disobedience.

I think if Martin Luther King Jr. were reading this he'd be proud.