Liz - Bridezillas

We have another request in! Yay!! The topic is: people who when they get engaged, think their weddings come before everything in your life.

I've only had a few wedding experiences in general, and most of them have been pretty positive. BUT, I've known enough guys and girls who have been in lots of weddings that there is plenty to say.

First, I'll say that a wedding is a wonderful event. It's the one time we think that these two people will defy the odds and stay together and grow old together. Your friend calls you with news about their engagement and you squeal with delight and rehash the proposal. You imagine their happy life together and how you are able to be a part of the the start of it.

Then come the demands:

1) Reserve the date. Hope it's not near anything else you wanted to do! Oh it is? Tough shit. It's my wedding and I'm a princess! Cancel your plans!

2) Bride loves outdoor pics. Bride also loves a winter wedding. It's my day, dammit! Smile until you turn blue, bitches.

3) I will force you to buy a dress. If you're lucky, it will be under $200. If not, well, I don't want you girls looking frumpy! Get a part time job! Oh, you don't like the color? Pay for a spray tan. Oh, it doesn't fit? Pay for alterations.

4) Oops! Did I mention the shoes? I need you to buy a pair and then have them dyed to match the dress. Yeah.

5) I hope none of you bitches were planning on getting pregnant this year. Because then I'm taking your dress and putting it on someone who could keep it in their pants.Ruin my wedding, why don't you!

6) You need me to pay attention to my job? Well too bad, because I have wedding planning activities to do. You understand, right? I mean, it's my special day and if I have gardenias instead of irises, then my marriage is doomed.

7) Oh, did I mention that I need you to fly to town for my bachelorette AND my shower? Unless I want to have it in Vegas. Then you need to fly there. . .and pay for your hotel and part of mine. Thanks!

So what's a bridesmaid to do? Where is it appropriate to draw the line? I have a friend who is in (not invited to, but IN) at least four or five weddings every year. Think of the list above, spending at least $500 on the dress, alterations, and shoes, then paying for travel to the wedding (if applicable), any hotel expenses, car rental, gifts, jewelry (oh yeah, some brides make you buy jewelry to go with the dress), not to mention any special undergarments that the dress might require (I have a bra I still don't know how to wear that has like 6 straps you can arrange 12 different ways. . .or something crazy) and then multiply it by 4. There comes a point where it's not feasible.

Sadly, that's when you have to prioritize friends. Ladies (and gentlemen), sit down right now. If you had to pick 8 of your friends today to be in your wedding, who would they be? Ok, with that list, when the requests come pouring in and you need to pick between friends, consult the list. Or get a job at Starbucks to fund Wedding Season.

Want me to write about something that interests you. . .or just give feedback? Check out my requests blog and post a comment with your request.
http://meauxdub.blogspot.com/2009/01/request-hotline-now-open.html

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