Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Emails to Children's Catalogs #2: Tea

This one is for a Back to School catalog for Tea. Their stuff is super cute if you have kids. . .which I don't. If you do, check them out here: http://www.teacollection.com/


Hi there,

I received your catalog today, and I actually don't have children. I just recently started a diet, and if it goes well, there's a chance I could fit into the larger kids' sizes eventually. My mom always said to buy the size I am, and not the size I hope to be though, so regretfully, I'm going to have to ask you to remove me from your list. The info on the address panel is below. Thanks so much!


Nothing within 48 hours. Someone didn't take my email seriously. . .hopefully they at least took me off their list!

Emails to Children's Cataogs #1

Somehow I made it on a marketing list of people who would have a need for children's catalogs. If you know me, you think this is hilarious. As much as I like having more mail to shred, I've decided to request to be removed from their lists. But. . .why not have some fun with it? As they come, I'll post for you my removal request and their responses. Enjoy!

My email:

Hi there,

I received your CompanyKids catalog, and I don't have kids. As cute as the stuff is, I would probably scare away some eligible bachelor if they came back to my apt and it was decorated like a child's room. And as much as I like having another catalog to recycle, you probably don't want to spend those printing costs and postage on me. So, if you wouldn't mind removing me from your list, that would be great. Thanks so much!

Thank you for your inquiry. We are not showing the name / address you have provided in our system. If you do not have an account number it is most likely that your name and address was obtained from another company. If you do not place an order our catalogs should automatically stop within 2-3 mailings (WHAT? two or three? ugh.) as they are pre-printed. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

P2X and groceries

So, no food in my house that I could bring for lunch, which meant that I needed to go buy something. Jimmy Johns? Nope. Cosi? Bread is too tempting. Salad place in Illinois Center? ding ding ding! Sounded great until I realized that most dressings have sugar in them. . .esp low fat ones. So, my apples and strawberries were doused in red wine vinegar and olive oil. yum?

To fix this problem, I went to the grocery store, where I realized that most of what I like to eat has sugar and flour in it. Esp my Lenten staple of Friday spaghetti night. So, I bought a sweet potato, a bunch of boxes of triscuits (on sale and within bounds!), some soy bacon bits and reduced fat sour cream and had baked potato night. yay!

That would give me the energy I needed to go into Day 2 (Cardio!) with ease. Yeah, except somebody didn't wait long enough after eating and was about to yarf all over Tony, Jason, Dom, and Vanessa. Oh well, I got through it! And it was a lot easier than yesterday and seemed to fly by. Ironically Tony's tip of the day was "make sure you eat enough". No worries there, T-Horts.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

P1X (again) and Lent

It's Lent already? Didn't we just ignore Valentine's Day? I feel so unprepared.

So, despite not being a practicing Catholic , I do observe Lent (shit! I just realized I ate meat today. . .clearly off to a great start). I've always treated it as my own personal dare. ("Hey Maureen! Bet you can't make it 40 days without drinking!" "Shutup! Yes I can!"). In the past few years, I've tried adding something to my routine as well as taking something away. So this year, I will be doing P90X (or at least the first 40 days of it) and cutting processed sugar and processed flour. Let me be clear, I do NOT include alcohol in that grouping. Just so we're clear.

So today, I finished my leftovers that I brought to work a week ago (hmm. . .hope those were ok to eat. . .) made an omelette for dinner (with Canadian bacon in it. . .whoops!). Popped in my Core Synergistics DVD and went to town. Oh, except my body had no energy.

I'll be honest, I've started P90X about 4 different times. . .most recently a month or so ago until I had to stop b/c I got sick. I always feel like I can conquer the world on Day 1. Not this time. My muscles were shakey, I was getting lightheaded. BUT, I finished it, and that's half the battle, right? (and don't worry, I'm eating some popcorn right now to get some carbs into my system)

Anyway, I'm gonna blog this journey. I'll try to keep it short and not super mundane. Btw, when you're at Walgreens on Feb 15th and think "Sweet! Heart shaped York Peppermint Patties are half off!" don't forget that Lent is 2 days away. Those will last in my desk until Easter, I suppose. Tempting me every damn day.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


The year I moved to Chicago, a show called Spamalot was playing in town. Since I was making barely enough money to live (ok live AND be able to attend happy hour), and since I didn't quite yet understand that previews for shows were done out of town before they hit Broadway, I made no effort to see it. . .which I have regretted ever since. So, I vowed to see every Broadway show that previews here.

As a result, I suffered through The Pirate Queen. horrific.

When I saw the Addams Family was coming to Chicago starring Bebe Neuwirth and Nathan Lane, I was ecstatic. "These are two people who wouldn't be in a crappy musical," I thought. So, I bought the cheapest tickets I could (hey! It's Christmas! Can't spend too much on myself. . .), grabbed my other musical theater geek friend, Jessie, and headed to the theater!

First, I watched a lot of Addams Family as a kid, so I'm definitely familiar. I've also seen one (if not both) of the movies. I'm not going to rehash the whole musical, but basically it opens in this graveyard scene where they're doing some ceremony that involves Wednesday becoming a woman (and cutting her iconic pigtails). A few minutes/musical numbers in, we see the facade of the Addams house, which falls in dramatic fashion to reveal the family and a version of the theme song. This, in my opinion, is the beginning of the show.

One of the great things about the Addams Family is the strength of their female characters. Morticia is strong, secure, and in control. Perfect for Bebe Neuwirth. In the musical, she's a short step away from being a shallow, self-absorbed cougar. It really does both the role and the actress a disservice.

The musical couldn't figure out what story it wanted to tell - with 7 characters in the house, they could have focused on those relationships and didn't really need to introduce the family of Wednesday's boyfriend (p.s. most of the story is about Wednesday wanting to run away with a normal boy), and the most interesting characters are underused.

Also, I know his name is Gomez, but was he always latin? Hmm. Nathan Lane makes it work, but better to work with Nathan Lane, than make him make it work. . .ya know?

I'm so curious to see how this show will change before it hits B'Way. . .and if they'll get rid of the 5 minute Tango number in the show. I don't like Tango week on Dancing with the Stars, let alone in a musical.

Also, I'm pretty sure there was a squid raping a man in the show. pretty sure. . .

Monday, December 14, 2009

T-. . .i forget

After posting last time that I have not heard Feliz Navidad nearly enough, I heard it! For some reason, that song makes my brother and me inexplicably happy. As kids, when it would come on, one of us would scream for the other and then we'd sing the english parts using our best Elvis/Cher impression (side note: have you ever noticed how similar their voices are?), and try to figure out exactly where the "haHA!" comes in.

I've missed about a week of posts, so in a nutshell, here are the holiday activities during that time:
-Account Team holiday party - Iron Chef. We had to face off in pairs to create a course. I got dessert, which is right up my alley. Unfortunately, I decided to make pastry from scratch (I don't so much like to lose things. . .), and that involved a lot of work the night before, including trips to three different grocery stores to find Wondra Flour. FAIL. But I ended up beating my coworker who dislocated his shoulder the night before so. . .win?

-Becky's Bday Party! Headed to Southport Lanes to see college friends who I haven't seen in WAY too long. Southport Lanes has actual pin-setters who liked to mess with me and lift up the one pin I was gonna knock over (I swear I was better at bowling at one point in my life. . .).

-Rehearsals My improv/sketch group is trying to put up a new sketch show, revamp an old one, and prep for an improv competition, which means that from now until Feb, most of my extra time will be spent rehearsing, putting together schedules, writing stuff, etc. It's a good thing I love my group and spending time with them, otherwise it would be brutal! As of now, I'm slated to choreograph a dance for two of the boys, which is making me way too happy.

And remember - you can never have too much Jose Feliciano.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A fairytale, they say (T-18,17,16)

Weekend events: Work holiday party, Class, Rehearsal

So after all the number crunching on Thursday, my head was pudding on Friday. I also had to wear my party dress to work (and be careful not to bend over too far), so it was a fun day. We all headed to Hawkeyes on Taylor Street and then to RoSal's. . .also on Taylor Street. Our dinner was based on The Big Night, which if you haven't seen it, is an 11-course meal. 11 courses! A marathon, not a race. By course 10, I was pretty much done. Thankfully I have an extra stomach for cannoli! hehe. I think I'm still full.

Saturday: Had Second City class (last one until January!!) then we went to Jimmy Johns, improv rehearsal, and home. After the week you all read about, there's nothing like having some couch time. It was delightful.

Sunday: Had a lot planned. . .was gonna catch up on all of my chores, clean up, do all my personal stuff that doesn't get done during the week. What did I do? Uh, watched Elf, 40 Year-Old Virgin and 2 eps of Family Ties. Had rehearsal at this new place where they were super anal and came in at 9:30 to yell at us for still being there (we had it reserved from 7:30-9:30). Seriously?

Side note: Have not heard Feliz Navidad played nearly enough. I love that song.