2,725

If I had known this number, my team would have won trivia this week. So unfulfilled. The question that number is the answer to will be at the end of this blog. . .

Thanks to everybody who voted in my Lenten poll. . .the winner is. . .Facebook between 9-5. I was rooting for the high fructose corn syrup, because it would have been interesting to see what all it's in that we don't even realize, but I'm cool with the lack of FB. . .it'll probably help me be more productive!

So occasionally, I'll take up these little mini-endeavors. Right now, I've decided to listen to podcasts in the afternoon. The podcasts right now are:

-Coffee Break French (1 lesson a day. . .around 18 minutes)
-Whatever the #1 podcast is that day. . .today it was This American Life

I can do my work with the podcast on in the background, and I figured it would make me more knowledgeable about random stuff. If you have a podcast you particularly enjoy, let me know, and I'll check it out.

For now. . .here's my favorite commercial of the moment (notice an eye flies off):



And the question to the answer: How many episodes of Late Night with Conan O'Brien have there been?

Oscars and Lent Poll!

Hi all,

Phew. Still recovering from last night? I know I am. The singing! The dancing! The really cheesy sets and Dead Actor Montages. . .it's almost too much. So. . .now for what everyone cares about. . .the dresses!

Miley Cyrus

Seaweed shouldn't be pale and glittery. And what's with the belt?
R for ridiculous

Marion Cotillard

It looks like on Project Runway when they run out of time and just throw some tulle on the bottom. And another belt? Argh.
P for poofy

Beyonce Knowles

She must have an anaconda who told her he don't want none. Could this dress be any more unflattering? Yes. It could have a belt.
Y for yikes

Taraji P. Henson

Fuh-nomenal. This is how it's done
A for amaaaazzzzing!

Sarah Jessica Parker

My Barbie had a dress like this. Except hers didn't have a super lame belt. ARGH!
M for Mattel

Jessica Biel

Her dress just barfed up some fabric. Too much pre-partying?
H for hungover

Sophia Loren

"I'm Chiquita Banana and I'm here to say. . ."
S for spray tan

Virginia Madsen

You can't hide it from me. . .I see it. . .a BELT!!!
A for arggghhh!!

Alicia Keys

This pic doesn't do it justice, but this dress was pretty cool. Prom makeup, notsomuch.
N for need better pic

Amanda Seyfried

Remember when you'd put your mom's dresses on from the 80's and they were slightly too big for you? It's like that. With a hideous bow.
B for bedsheets and bows


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok - and I can't decide what to give up for Lent, so I'm having another poll. Look to the left, vote on what I should give up, and I'll let you know how it goes! You can also comment with any suggestions that aren't listed, but do it soon! Lent starts on Wednesday!

Cool Sesame Street sketches

First of all, I want to thank Melissa for this inspiration. She recently posted a sketch from Sesame Street, and it sparked all kinds of conversation. My comedy writing teacher who wrote for SNL and Sesame Street said that Sesame Street is funnier, hands down. They have to simultaneously educate kids, entertain kids, and entertain their parents, all while staying positive and not offending anyone. . .ever. So with that - the top Sesame Street sketches I remember from my childhood. . .and loved:

1) Eeeeeeklahoma
Kermit is directing a remake of Oklahoma and Forgetful Jones can't remember how to say the title! I really liked the cows. . .



2) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10 11 12 (doo doo doo dood doo)



3) U Really Got a Hold on Me
Smokey Robinson is featured in this one. Scared the CRAP out of me as a kid.



4) New Way to Walk by the "Oinker Sisters"
I still sing this when I'm walking across the street. And those pigs were totally rad back in the day.



5) The Batty Bat
I think I liked this one a lot because my mom would laugh hysterically at it, and I'd dance on my tippy toes to make her laugh harder



6) Over Under and Through
It was just on all the time. . .



7) Teeny Little Super Guy



8) And of course: Rubber Duckie!



This post brought to you by the letter M and the number 8

Valentine's Day. . .a few days late

I have to say that I've had my ups and downs with good ol' V-Day. I used to love the excuse for a party in elementary school. Everybody had to give everybody else a Valentine, so nobody felt left out. And you'd try to remember which of the conversation hearts were yummy and which tasted like dish soap.

Then in middle school came the Carnation Sale. There are many reasons for me to despise this event:
1) I was terrified of flowers
2) Nobody ever sent me any. Not even girl friends. Nobody.
3) You saw the one girl who had like a full bouquet and wanted the fear of flowers to be founded and have one turn into Audrey II and eat her.

Upper School was a bit better - I actually got some (flowers, not ass). . .still didn't like flowers though. By then I was too stuck on the fact that there was no boy to celebrate the holiday with. In college, I always managed to break up with boys right around that time, so my pledge mom Jennifer and I would take Anita (her truck) to the CPK at the mall and talk about how we were strong independent women and this is how we'd rather spend the evening anyway. Meanwhile, during XMas Break, my mom would buy me a nice outfit and would say, "Maybe this year you'll be able to wear it on a nice Valentine's Day date. . ." I just wanted the day to be over, really.

My mom is super cool about V-Day. . my brother always had a card and candy from her waiting on our placement in the morning, growing up. Sometimes even the dogs would get us a card. Somehow I enjoyed that more than all the romantic crap that was supposed to take place.

This year, with my bf and me both a bit low on cashola (and me staring down a couple grand in dental bills by the end of the week), we decided to forego the nice dinner of last year for something a little more casual - but still yummy! It was a fun evening, but not the hooplah that Valentine's Day has been built up to be.

On V-Day, I checked my mail and had 2 pink envelopes. Each of my parents had seperately sent me a card. Somehow, more than anything, that made my day. So for me, Valentine's Day isn't about cheesy gifts or exaggerated romantic gestures. It's just about simple, unconditional love. And cards with monkeys on them.

Good Times!

I've had the Good Times theme running through my head every morning for the last couple of days. To refresh you:



Sorry, the version with the actual title sequence had crappy sound quality. Anyway, "temporary layoffs. . .good times!" Just went through some at work. I'm safe, but I've never been through that before. I have to say it's bizarre. . .

1) As my coworker Pam put it: "It feels like someone died." It's just quiet - by virtue of there being less people there and because the rest of us are like "Oh crap, we'd better work!"

2) Ok, so this is gonna sound bitchy, but sometimes when you don't get along with coworkers and they get laid off, you're a little less than sad. It's a karma thing. It's also that I would much rather see good, nice people keep their jobs.

3) One of my coworkers had been there a long time and really helped out a lot of us and helped make the company run. The fact that she's gone is just insane. . .and probably why the rest of us feel a little lost right now.

Anyway, the worst part is that pretty much every company is going through this right now. . .or has already.

I liken most people's take on the economy to this quote from Mean Girls:
"I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..."

"Middle School" of course is the equivalent to the mid 90s. . .before the tech bubble burst.

Where IS George?

Have you ever wondered, "Gosh, I wonder what will happen to this $1/5/10/20/100 dollar bill when I'm done with it?" you can wonder no more. Welcome to my new nerd hobby: WheresGeorge.com. You just enter in the serial number of your bill, your zip code, a few deets (e.g. where you got it, what gross little stains are on it), and then wait for other people to enter it in too. If you're super daring, you can write something like "wheresgeorge.com" on the bill or "Track this bill at wheresgeorge.com". . .just to increase the chances of actually tracking it.

I've had 2 hits on bills I've entered and it's pretty freaking exciting. It's like when you release the balloon with the note on it in school* and then wait for someone to write you saying that they got the balloon. Wasn't that the happiest day ever?

Anyway, check it out!

*we never actually did this in my school. I had to read about it in 3-2-1 Contact Magazine.


"I was just on a stripper's ass!"

And just for old time's sake. . .

Sycophancy

I've noticed a disturbing trend of late. . .and if something is not done, it will take over our nation. . .nay, our world. People are becoming incredible suck ups. I'm not good at it. . .I try not to do it, but those times when I must, it always comes off as disingenuous, so I think it's caused me to spot it in other people as well.

We all have things we want to accomplish, and there are certain people can help us accomplish those things. . .but at what point does kissing ass help? You know you're doing it. . .they know you're doing it (or if they don't, they'll realize it when you ask them for something), so who is benefiting from this? Those of you who successfully schmooze, what are your secrets? How do you stay on this side of pandering?

I'm all for giving praise and letting people know when you've heard nice things about them. . .only because we all need it, and if that's how you feel, then why keep it bottled up? BUT, I think we can all agree that there's a difference between that and saying it to get noticed.

Let me know your thoughts. Where is the line? Is it possible to get what you want without shit in your mouth and ass on your lips? I'd like to think so. . .

Also, I'm going to add a poll - if I do a live blog of the Oscars - will you read it? I think I can actually post a poll on here, so you can vote anonymously! I won't be hurt if the answer is no. . .I just want to know if it's worth my while. Thanks!

Facebooker

I should have been asleep 48 minutes ago. . .yet Facebook keeps drawing me in. Damn you!

I heard a blurb on the radio about how the "ideal" number of Facebook friends is 302. So, you're a loser with 301, and an over-achiever with 303? I have about 702. . .I think, and I honestly know every single one (except Margaret Cho, but a friend suggested I be friends with her, and who am I to turn that down? I watched All-American Girl in the 90s!). People ask me how I could possibly know that many people. I've been accused of being some sort of friend-hoarder, friend whore, etc.

Here is the truth. It's not because I'm super popular or likeable. In fact, I'm pretty sure that a good nunber of my Facebook friends don't particularly like me (I'm looking at you, people who barely spoke to me in high school. . .). It's that I had something in common with them at one point. Example:

110 in my high school graduating class
100 RAs each year I was on a staff (2 years)
50 people on my freshman floor
50 residents from senior year
30ish residents from junior year
probably around 30 coworkers on FB
around 30-50 people I've met through improv or writing class

I'm already at 600 without even trying. I've also been on Facebook for like 6 years. . .when it was only certain colleges and you could put in your dorm and class info. It's easy to accumulate people over that period of time.

I have to say that I like knowing what people are up to. And not in that creepy way. Just kinda knowing that everybody who's been in my sphere at one point or another is doing well and going through the same things all of are is comforting.

Speaking of comforting, time for some lavendar pillow spray and some shut eye.