In the Sims 3 game (which I'm completely obsessed with and play too much!), you can make friends and it goes from Acquaintance --> Friend --> Good Friend --> Best Friend. Just like in real life, you build the relationship by calling your friends, visiting them, hanging out with them in town. Well, if you don't talk to them for a while, the relationship is then downgraded and it says "John Doe is no longer a friend. You should try calling them once in a while to maintain the relationship."
Amazingly, I've experienced the same thing with some of my friends. Some were formerly really close friends and I see what they're doing via facebook and I'm like "wow, 1) that's an activity I would have enjoyed, which they know. and 2) I had no idea they were up to xyz." At this point, they definitely feel more like acquaintances than friends. The thing is, I have friends who I barely see or talk to, but when I do, we're able to pick right up where we left off and we genuinely care for each other.
For example, I hung out with my RA staff from college. . .many of whom I haven't seen in years and it was just like it was back in our heyday. . .joking, supporting, having a great time. And then there's Marla, my bff from high school who I can say the same joke I said 13 years ago, and she still laughs at it like it was the first time she's heard it.
It makes me wonder if the bonds with the downgraded friends were that strong to begin with, and if they can so quickly fluctuate between friend and acquaintance, if it's worth putting in the effort to keep it at "friend" status. Maybe the upgrading/downgrading is just a way for us to filter and keep only those in our lives who are truly glad to be our friend. . .and us theirs. . .no matter the distance or frequency, and not waste effort on those who are only your friend when it's convenient. . .
who would have thought this computer game where i run little fake peoples' lives would actually teach me something about my own life?
Jessica & Ashlee Simpson get their drink on
15 years ago
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