Emails to Children's Catalogs #2: Tea

This one is for a Back to School catalog for Tea. Their stuff is super cute if you have kids. . .which I don't. If you do, check them out here: http://www.teacollection.com/

Email:

Hi there,

I received your catalog today, and I actually don't have children. I just recently started a diet, and if it goes well, there's a chance I could fit into the larger kids' sizes eventually. My mom always said to buy the size I am, and not the size I hope to be though, so regretfully, I'm going to have to ask you to remove me from your list. The info on the address panel is below. Thanks so much!

Response:

Nothing within 48 hours. Someone didn't take my email seriously. . .hopefully they at least took me off their list!

Emails to Children's Cataogs #1

Somehow I made it on a marketing list of people who would have a need for children's catalogs. If you know me, you think this is hilarious. As much as I like having more mail to shred, I've decided to request to be removed from their lists. But. . .why not have some fun with it? As they come, I'll post for you my removal request and their responses. Enjoy!

My email:

Hi there,

I received your CompanyKids catalog, and I don't have kids. As cute as the stuff is, I would probably scare away some eligible bachelor if they came back to my apt and it was decorated like a child's room. And as much as I like having another catalog to recycle, you probably don't want to spend those printing costs and postage on me. So, if you wouldn't mind removing me from your list, that would be great. Thanks so much!

Response:
Thank you for your inquiry. We are not showing the name / address you have provided in our system. If you do not have an account number it is most likely that your name and address was obtained from another company. If you do not place an order our catalogs should automatically stop within 2-3 mailings (WHAT? two or three? ugh.) as they are pre-printed. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact us.